One Month Down

One month ago today I got placed on the list. No call yet.

But you know what, despite what Homer says, it's OK.  The waiting game has given me time to genuinely come to terms with all this, and continue to do what I can to get my body ready for this new heart.  Best thing I can do now is not push my luck, because I still get extremely tired very quickly, and it's way too easy to over do it. Learning new limits is almost a daily occurrence now.

My job now is to stay as healthy and strong as I can, for as long as I can. The success of my transplant depends on the skills of the doctors and nurses and the care of my loved ones, sure, but ultimately my preparedness and positive attitude will mean just as much, perhaps even more.  I love, LOVE, knowing that I still have some control over the outcome.

Anyway, the past week has been really kind of amazing.  I had a cath last Monday and found I have managed to maintain and actually improve my heart function enough to stay off the IV milrinone for the time being.  Hoo Rah.

I'll take that.

I'm in no hurry to get on that medicine.  I'll take what ever level of freedom and mobility I can get, for as long as I can.  I know a lot of folks on the list aren't as lucky as me at this stage of heart failure and this 1B status, but again, I'll take it.

I had thought I would be able to blog more regularly about this, but honestly, it's hard to put in to words all the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that go into being in my position.

I'm not a worry wart.  Never have been, so why start now?  I remind myself every single day of the dozens of times in my life when I have kicked the odds against me right in the proverbial ass.  Not sure how or why that is. Just lucky to be born with a resilient spirit I guess.

No wait, I know why.

Because I make a concerted, conscious effort to not whine about my situation, and I have learned to keep my distance from those who complain about theirs.

I know in my heart of hearts, in my soul, that things will always work out for me as long as I don't ever give up hoping for a brighter day.

It'd be nice if I got the call sooner rather than later, but in the mean time, I don't want to lose sight of the awesome things going on in my life now.  I'm still me.  And I always will be.

If anything being on the list for a month now has reminded me just how crazy lucky I have been in my life, and I am so gonna love having a heart that takes my body where my mind yearns to go.