Almost 14 months now.

Still need a new heart.  Hello?  Is this thing still on?

HAPPY On The Transplant List

Seems impossible right?

That I, or anyone really, could be happy, genuinely really truly HAPPY while we wait for a new heart...and that new start.

Yet that's pretty much where I find myself these days.  Now some 11+ months that I have been on this crazy ol heart transplant list. Still status 1B...second highest priority.  1A is the highest.  I don't wanna be 1A anytime soon.  Cause that's reserved for the sickest of the sick.  : (

But for me...and let's just cut to the chase:  I'm not anywhere close to the sickest of the sick...no need to be hospitalized or do anything too drastic like a heart pump just yet.  Which is a good thing.  (A reason to be HAPPY...hint, hint.)

The docs says I'm in class III heart failure:

Marked limitation of physical activity. Comfortable at rest. Less than ordinary activity causes fatigue, palpitation, or dyspnea (trouble breathing)

And there are other heart numbers the docs keep track of:

Ejection Fractions
NT-PROBNPs
Blah, Blah, Blah, etc. etc. etc.

Oh and my Gamma Glutamyltranspeptidase....gotta love Gamma Glutamyltranspeptidase.  I know I do!  That number is A-OK by the way.

Anyway, those numbers all come together to indicate I am pretty much holding steady where I am at. Not too hot.  Not too cold.  Just right.  Not perfect health by any means, but things could be A LOT worse.  (Another reason to be HAPPY...hint, hint)

Just waitin for THE CALL.  Annnnny day now would be just fine with me.

The transplant team continues to watch me like a hawk.  I see em every few weeks at least, and I even have a little meeting with my transplant surgeon today.   And every time I get so much as a hang nail they seem very concerned, which is very reassuring if nothing else.

Don't get me wrong...Stairs still stink, and hills. Uggh.   And I really can't keep up when we're walking a long distance...say waaaay around the block.   Like a 1/4 mile or whatever.  Pretty weak. But it is what it is.

But I can sit on my couch LIKE A BOSS!  And watch funny videos and listen to great music, and listen to great speakers give incredibly motivational speeches. --More on that later...oh, and I'll let you in on a little secret....but I'll save that for the end.  : )



Oh and did I tell you, I had a few roadblocks here these past few months.  Ahem.

So in May, my pacemaker/ICD...I affectionately called him Marcus...you know from Marcus Welby MD?  Binge watch it someday.  Good stuff.  




Anyway Marcus got infected.  By who knows what; the pathologists could never determine just what it was. So a few days in the hospital on IV antibiotics, and another 10 days at home oral antibiotics, and they thought I'd be good to go.

1st infection.  Thought it was a rash.

2nd Infection.  Eeesh.

Well crud. Three days later, the infection came back.  So back into the hospital I went.

This time the docs were playin for reals...yanked out Marcus, and I got a fancy new wiz bang ICD, whom I've decided to name Rocky.  From...you know...the Rocky movies?  I, II, III, IV, and V!  Oh and Rocky VI called Balboa.  And Rocky VII coming later this year I think, entitled Creed!

And things were going along swimmingly.  Old site was healing...new site was healing.  I was feeling groovy.

And THEN...just this past week, I had to have the ventricular ICD lead re-positioned cause it wasn't firing quite right.  Hey it happens.

And it took two tries. Had to put me under and open me up twice in just the span of a couple days. Again...it happens.  No biggie.  Extra nurse time.  Wink. Wink. Nod. Nod.

Oh, Hi Tammy.  : )

The doc thought he could use the old ventricular lead and just move it to a different spot, but no dice. So he just went back in the next day and put in a whole new lead.  Works awesome now.  Just the way it's supposed to.  Did I mention the extra nurse time...the extra CUTE, friendly, super knowledgeable, compassionate, awesome nurse time  : )

The really cool thing about ALL those procedures...is that they all turned out pretty much perfect.   Not 100% perfect...heck nothing, or no one, is perfect.  But it's still pretty darn good.

And never let perfect be the enemy of pretty darn good. That's what my ol pappy used to say...except darn was replaced by #@#!$%!@!

So once again I've proven to be a fella who can genuinely roll with the punches and come out of most medical adventures feeling great...all things considered.  And that make me and the transplant team ooooo soooo happy.  (And being HAPPY is a good thing...hint, hint.)

Oh, and learned, once again that I am a pretty fast healer.  And that make me and the transplant team ooooo soooo happy.  (And being HAPPY is a good thing...hint, hint.)

So that's been my summer thus far.  Just chillin..gettin some surgeries.  Eatin some cake.  Watchin the cat lick his nether regions. Listenin to some minor league baseball.  Hangin out with my son and my girlfriend and trying to keep some normalcy to my life.

And just making a real concerted effort to find some reason, ANY reason, to be HAPPY each and every day. Hint. Hint.

Yep.  I got my head screwed on straight this summer.  Heck it's screwed on damn near perfect these days.

And never let perfect be the enemy of pretty darn good.  ; )

You see, it's just that I have had soooo much time to think, about who I am, about the kind of person I want to be, not just when I get that new heart...and that new start, but here today, now.  We live our lives...or at least we should...not in the past, or in some dream of a seemingly distant future.  But Now. Right now...these multitude of split seconds are the 'stuff' that makes up or lives.

The Now.   Now. Now. Now.

I took the time to really think about the kind of people and issues that I think are worth my time. and heck, I live in the same world you all do.  I see the headlines and all the garbage back and forth that goes on in the news and on Facebook and Twitter.  And if I spent any amount of time around that energy sucking negativity, I could just feel my heart acting up. And that's not good for anyone...and especially me.  Emotions, good and bad, are HUGE in heart health.  I wish more people understood that.

Funny thing...ok, maybe not so much, but there is a great thing called the OFF button.  Use it once in a while : )  Or even the little hitting that 'X' on the posts that make your blood boil....click.  Ah, sweet relief.  And empower yourself by unfriending, or unfollowing at least...people that always gripe and moan about things.  There is a growing mountain of research that excessive time on social media...and engaging in online debates are HORRIBLE for you.  For you mental health to be sure, but on your body too.

And I gotta tell ya, being dead serious honest here...if you can somehow make that decision get rid of negative people, especially on social media, and filter out all the 'news' you can't really do anything about anyway...and instead focus each and every day on seeking out things that are positive and funny and uplifting, it will play a HUGE role in fostering the best possible environment for the best possible outcome.

That right there is my Numero Uno piece of advice to new folks new to transplant.  Heck it applies to anyone facing any challenge in life.  Don't let other people or the events half way around make you feel worse about this crazy thing called life.  I feel really strongly about this.  

I, Eric J. McClintock, 110% believe that has been THE deciding factor in me and my little ol heart not getting any worse these past few months.

You see, every day we have a choice.

There are like a trillion things to feel bad about if that's how you want to look at your situation and at the world.  And frankly, that's what most people do.  Whoa is me.  Whoa is the whole effin' world.

But then....oh this is so great... here are like a trillion AND ONE things to feel good about if THAT's how you decide to look at your situation and the world.  YOU decide. It's your CHOICE.

It's not always easy...and the Negative Nat's and Nellie's of the world are gonna try to suck you back in all the time.   But don't let em...

Sorry this is so long...but it's good.  A few more items here...

So what do I do keep my head on straight.  I love, love, LOVE music.  And I love to watch people doing awesome, amazing spectacular things.   And wouldn't ya know it, the YouTubes is full of that kind of stuff.  You just have to look for it.  Here's a pretty cool one.  And there are hundreds.  Just search for People Are Awesome...or Epic Wins, That sort of thing.

And I JUST discovered these awesome AWESOME videos by a guy that goes by the YouTube handle of Scottdw.  His videos AND music are mesmerizing, and fun, and POSITIVE.  I can't tell you how much these videos make me smile.  And Happy.  (And HAPPY is a good thing...hint, hint.)

But check this guy out, and check out all his videos.  Tell all your friends, and share share share. This is as good as it gets folks!

Finally there are some fantastic videos that give snippets of inspiring words by great speakers over motivational, uplifting music.  It is so worth your time to seek these out too.  You'll hear from names like Eric Thomas, Les Brown, Jim Rohn, Will Smith, Abraham Hicks.  This stuff is great...and it really feeds the mind, and the body, and the soul.  Here is one of my favs

And FINALLY, and I told you I had a little secret.

Well I guess it's not much of secret...but more of a revelation I guess...in my own life.  Maybe it will be in yours too.

And it boils down to this. Before I thought I was ready for a new heart...and a new heart.  But now I KNOW I have a new MIND too...and that will allow me, in a million little ways, to enjoy my new heart, and my new start so very much more.  Woo Daddy...its gonna be a fun ride!

But I gotta work at it, and I keep working on it each and every day.  And I am happy...THRILLED beyond imagination..to do just that.

We all...each and every one of us...could and should work on being just a little bit happier.  Happy You.  Happy Me.  Happy World.

It's just that it's soooo worth it to be happy HAPPY in whatever circumstance you find yourself it.

Trust me!

Thanks for reading folks...and have a GREAT and HAPPY day!

Perspective

A little video of what I feel like somethings as I wait for a new heart.  Incredibly exciting, and scary at the same time!

Another Month...

Well here we are...April Fools day, 2015

Will this be my month?

Still no new heart....and that's no joke.

Live Tweeting of a Heart Transplant.

Take just a few minutes of your life to read these tweets.

You read that right, actual real time tweets of a heart transplant at Baylor University in Texas.

##heartTXlive

Here is the story from the news media.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/hospital-live-tweets-heart-transplant-surgery/

And please consider organ donation!

The Six Month Milestone

OK...so not sure if its a milestone worth remembering...especially AFTER I get the call for a new heart, but today, February 22nd, marks the 6th month I have been officially waiting for a heart.

I have slowed way down on my blogging...cause I've kind of run out of stuff to talk about...more like I have run out of things to THINK about.



There is only so much I can think about...what it's going to be like to have a new heart...because I think it's just gonna be so amazing to actually be able to have a better life...the heart is almost secondary.

It's gonna be beyond anything I can imagine or dream of anyway.  So surprise me!

Honestly I spend most of my days here lately watching documentaries and enjoying Tammy's AWESOME cooking.

Tonight's gastronomical masterpiece was Crockpot Minestrone.   Seriously...so good.  : )

And I've gotten to know quite a few heart transplant recipients here lately. And I enjoying following THEIR journeys, especially post transplant, cause that is really gonna be where the rubber hits the road as they say.

One woman here in Iowa  was on an LVAD, had to wait a month for her body to get strong enough again, was placed on the list at 4 pm Friday, and got THE CALL 7 (SEVEN) hours later!

So happy for her.  It's amazing how it works out somethings.

But thankfully I am not quite as sick as she was yet.  But still....my call needs to come sooner rather than later.

And the transplant surgeries seem to go pretty well...but the recovery, battling rejection and infection, makes it for a rough go for some folks.

It's a long road...on BOTH sides of transplant.

But it's still gonna be SOOOO worth it.

I'm still ready, mentally.  And I think this new medicine called Amiodarone has helped me feel a bit better physically day in and day out.   I had a bit of a cold last week...and felt horrible for a few days...but these past couple days I have felt great.

So today is a big day I guess...but just another day just the same.

Another day on THE LIST.

The Mayo Clinic and Amiodarone

Hey Folks.

Just a little summary of my recent trips to the Mayo Clinic, as well as my thoughts on the drug Amiodarone.  

A Kid At Heart

I was a kid once.

Still am in a lot of ways.

The Kindergarten Me...@1975

A kid at heart.  Yep that's me.  I'm like the poster child for 'Kid At Heart'.

A kid at heart...born with a bad heart.   But, whatever...want to  hear me make fart noises with my armpit??

Yeah, I'm THAT guy.

Sure, I spent lots of time in the hospital...but I sure as heck did my share of playin' around and with my friends and arguing with my brother and sisters and avoiding girls at all cost (including the pinch on the cheek from Grandma) and chasing lightning bugs and climbing trees and spittin' watermelon seeds.

You know...kid stuff.

Loved growing up on that Iowa farm and I'd spend most evenings sitting on the fence post watching my dad do chores cause he didn't want me to get hurt, well nobody did..but I didn't care.

It was awesome.

And ah...the smell of freshly tilled soil in the spring.  To this day there is nothin' better.

And there was just so much to explore...the trees and the creeks and the ponds and the cornfields.

And the animals...the cows and the chickens are what I mostly remember.  But we had a short-legged duck that roamed around, and a dog or two, and a barn full of cats.

Farm cats and barns go together like peas and carrots, as do dogs and ponds.

And...and...and...there was just so much more...but it was just awesome.  Every single bit of it...

And sure I spent a pretty considerable amount of my time in the hospital when I was young.  Not as much as some sick kids...but still, enough to remember going there...a lot.

Enough so that my VERY FIRST memory is of being  pulled up and down the hospital corridor in a little red wagon.

I can still see the nurse and her feathered, 70's era, Farrah Fawcett hair and I can hear the squeak of the rubber tires on that white, slippery, sanitized linoleum floor.

It feels like...it was yesterday.

But that's it.  I don't remember much else.  Nothing really.

My first big surgery was at 6 months old, another when I was 2.

I was probably 3 or 4 in that wagon ride.

No memories of the doctors, none of the nurses. Not the operating room, or waiting room or the parking ramp or the hospital food.  Not the medicine, or the IV's or the blood draws.

None of it..from that whole time, at least as it pertains to my heart, and hospitals and the like, up until I was maybe 7 or 8.

I think I had a catheterization around that time where I had to lie still for 6 hours in recovery.  I vaguely remember that...I think I remember the 'all the popsicles you can eat' part of it more than anything though.

And ya know, maybe that's a good thing.

Nothing wrong with fond childhood memories of the farm and sunshine and laughter.  I'll take that over memories of hospitals any day.

And besides there are plenty of others that did, and still do, the remembering for me.

The surgeons remembered...

In my very early teens I enjoyed talking with some of the very doctors that were there and operated on me...and nurses who would come by just to say 'hi' if they could when I went to the hospital for my check ups every 6 months or so.

I grew up in front of their eyes.  And with their gleaming approval.

I think I was their pride and joy in a way.  I was, and still am, the oldest surviving person to get the Mustard procedure at my hospital.  Those doctors knew that they had seen way too many babies born with that same heart defect die before having a chance to even make it off the operating table, let alone their first birthday, or their 10th, or 15th.

Seeing me, and seeing how well I was getting along, and to hear me laugh and talk with me and know I was doing well in school, and just a happy 'normal' kid..I think it meant the world to them.

There is a big part of me that wishes I would have known, or better yet, wishes I would have appreciated what rock stars those early pioneering surgeons were in not only my life..but dozens and hundreds of other kids just like me.  I wish I could shake their hand and just say...

Thanks.  Ya did good.

They held my heart, and my life, literally in their hands.  My tiny, strawberry sized, broken TGA heart...and made it work well enough to get me to where I am today.  A happy, well adjusted, well liked, accomplished, funny, smart, decent, kind caring person who more than likely wouldn't have been any of those things without their skilled hands and expertise playing a huge role in my earliest days.  

And sure, I am on the transplant list now, but that's not their fault in any way.  They did the absolute best they could do at the time.  They were cutting edge...and I was on the cutting edge.

I'm immensely proud...and humbled, by that.

That's just frickin mind boggling to me...even today.  I think I will ALWAYS have an ton of just flat out admiration and respect and love for those surgeons.   Wow.

And there were others too, who did the remembering for me.

My mom in particular talks often of how much, and how often, they (let's be honest, it was almost 100% her) had to work to keep me from crying too much as a little, little baby, cause I would turn blue, my lips and fingertips especially.  And my little toes.  My little blue toes.  I heard that a lot over the years.

I guess I could have died or got brain damage or something before they could get me to the hospital. Especially before my operation at 6 months that kept the hole open between the chambers of my heart, so at least some blood could get oxygen, and right up until I was 2 1/2 and had the big operation.  

Man, that had to have been pretty scary for mom.  A hard working farm wife and mother of 4 other healthy kids with nothing more than a high school education and hearty 'good luck' at home from the doctors.

"You call us if he gets too blue...and then come to the hospital right away"

OK...time out.  Rock star status re-assessment here.  Mom was THE rock star...but the surgeons were certainly in the band.

One of her favorite stories to tell is how one night I simply would NOT stop crying, and she finally put me in the saddle bag of my dads old Harley motorcycle and rocked it back and forth and THAT got me to stop crying.

My mom and my older sisters would spend hours rubbing my back, just soothing me and talking to me a in soft voice to keep me calm.

To this day I love having my back rubbed, it almost instantly puts me to sleep.  And I love whispers. I love quiet...and low light...and calm.  Shhhhhh.  Just listen....

Not hard to figure out why I'm that way I guess...

And I'm sure that wagon ride was part fun, and part keeping me from crying.

The nurses certainly were rock stars in their own right.  Maybe they were the lead singers...

But all that I know from that time is what these remarkably caring people have told me over the years...and the few grainy black and white photos of me at home, and a few doctors notes here and there.

That's it.

It wasn't until I was about 10 I reckin I didn't have a clue what my defect was called, or what operations I had.  Didn't really care...cause I was too busy being a kid.

But I know now.

dextro-Transposition of Great Arteries
Atrial Septal Defect

Blalock Hanlon Atrial Septectomy at 6 months
Mustard Procedure repair at 2 1/2 years.

Reporting for duty...Sir!

Now I see all these pictures on Facebook of little heart warriors like I once was...just as they come out of the surgery with their tubes and wires running every which way and I know that they will have much more of visual record of their young lives to be sure...and their parents now have the luxury of an entire world of knowledge and wisdom and expertise at their finger tips.

My mom had a 7 page pamphlet...

Operations like mine, and now more advanced versions of that Mustard repair, are now routine, and the survival rate for 5, 10, 20 years is excellent.

And perhaps most importantly, increasingly more and more 'old timers' like myself are around, and many of us love, love, LOVE sharing our own stories of those early days...in hopes of making it just a little bit less scary to raise a child with a heart defect...or to be a child with a heart defect, for that matter.

I hope too, that these younger ones coming along are able to one day say that they, like me, remember the happier times of their childhood so much more so than their time in the hospital.

Stay a kid at heart as long as you can!  That's my #1 best piece of advice...for not just heart kids...but for everyone!

Their moms and dads and friends and families and doctors and nurses will do the remembering...

Trust me on that one.

Now about those fart noises....